As human beings we come into the world as a wonderful fabric of very specific cells and we are held in a veil of light that we hardly consciously perceive.
Hidden in our own soul there is this deep understanding of who we are and why we are here.
However, while we are stepping forward into our journey, our own inner knowing may be overgrown by the narratives the world holds and propagates.
It can be very interesting to weave the insights of our fellow people into our own findings. But we need to have maturity to be able to discern what our own true values are, in comparison to what societies impose upon us.
Today we are experiencing the reality of our own governments, our own doctors, our own teachers, squeezing humanity out of us. It is considered as reassuring to receive a one-size-fits-all treatment against an almost hollywoodian representation of a common enemy. We are even told that we ourselves are the enemy to each other. What was holding us together - like family and friends, personalized small shops, lots of creative and cultural enterprises, our celebrations, even our smiles and individual expressions - continues to be wiped off the slate. Like never before, we realize that we are standing alone where not so long ago we were counting on support.
Even the most autonomous among us have personally felt losses and deception. We have all been hurt and deeply shaken. We may have found new friendships and new connections, but we had to still go through new darknesses in all that we uncovered.
I believe we each had our own version of feeling more and more vulnerable.
For me it was the letting go of looking after everyone and worrying about the dangers that they ran into. As much as I am part of the collective, I was eating myself out hoping to rescue others, through thought, prayer, communication or action. This time I was taught to mind my own business in unprecedented ways. While sitting on my hands and digesting the multitude of betrayal, I started to open up to more of myself.
As a Tarot lover, the card of The Tower appeared before me in regards to myself, to my clients, to the whole of our world.
That card says: If you are not taking on the changes that are needed and the openings that are required, then the Heavens will take care of it for you.
And yes indeed, the lightening has been striking me.
I discovered that - like many of us - I have a clear and indestructible desire in my personal energy field. As long as I was not able to draw in the occult reality of it, part of me was muted.
As we now enter into the ere of transparency and remembering, this has a personal meaning for each of us .
For me, the necessary opening of personal creativity along with the expression of it, showed up through the urge of engaging in the Holy Womb Chakra practice. Soon enough I started coughing like never before. In the middle of meditation, at night, in the middle of a conversation, seemingly out of the blue. Coughing as if my inside needed very badly to come out.
That made me very quiet. Humble.
I knew I had to stop blaming myself for having protected my womb chakra by wanting to destroy it. At the time it must have been the best thing to do. Of course one cannot destroy a chakra, but one can deny it. The blank emptiness however shows up, all the time and unbearably.
Now I was finally close to discovering the meaning of all this.
It is not easy to trust that unspeakable wounding is real. That it also holds promise. And even the beginning of new life within.
I am grateful for these times of great darkness and the contrast it makes to great light. I can now fully remember how much I have longed for the great light.
I am sure that connecting to beautiful people helps to welcome more Light Beings in my field. They showed me that the desire in my field can be drawn in and fill my whole body. It miraculously fills in the shadows and shows more unity on a much larger scale.
My heart opens up to the hidden desires of others. I acknowledge the limitless powers of what we begin to perceive.